Frankenstein's Monster

“I’m glad I’m not pregnant, because if I was, I would have aborted it anyway!”, she screamed at me. Message received. Knife inserted. Twisted for maximum destruction. She didn’t mean it. Or maybe she did. I didn’t stick around much longer to get her pregnant to find out. But the damage was done. This scarred me for years to come. I was Frankenstein’s monster. I had to have been. I must have been the scum of the earth, an evil disgusting creature, for her to have said this to me. For her to want to have killed a life that I theoretically helped create. I hated myself because she hated me. I found myself worthless because she found no worth in me. Contrary to how she viewed me, and barring Christian theology (no one is good except God), I was a good person. I wasn’t perfect. But I had a heart to love people. Her words, her attitudes toward me were not a reflection of who I was, but a reflection of who she was. She wounded me because she was deeply wounded herself, and that not of my own doing. She was sexually abused for many years, that I had known. But back then, I didn’t understand the necessity of healing from sexual abuse before entering into a relationship, and I didn’t understand the concept of having healthy relationships. It wasn’t taught in school. It wasn’t formed in me by my parents. I just knew that I loved her. Well, that relationship was unhealthy from the start. I’m not blaming her. In our ignorance, we both made destructive choices. But I am saying that I wasn’t the monster she made me feel I was. Reflecting on my past, though this has wounded me deeply, I am deeply and divinely blessed that she wasn’t actually pregnant and had aborted our son or daughter. Her words left me broken. I can only imagine if she had been pregnant and aborted, how much deeper my brokenness would have gone. I don’t think I would have resorted to suicide – that’s never been a contemplation in my life. But I probably would have ended up in a hospital and behavioral center because I would have hated myself so much more. It is estimated that 1 in 4 women will have an abortion in their lifetime. Assuming that we have one man for every abortion (I understand the flaw in the math, just work with me), that would be 1 in 4 men will have lost a child to abortion, whether willingly or unwillingly. Many men have forced, coerced, and paid for abortions while others have sat silent, leaving the “choice” for the woman, still while others have begged and pleaded for these women to not get the abortion. These women who are pregnant are indeed mothers to their unborn sons and daughters, while the men who have helped conceive are fathers to their unborn sons and daughters. How much deeper are their wounds than mine? How much more is their self hatred than mine was? How much shame and guilt do these fathers carry? Who will listen to their stories? Who will help them heal? Who will give voices to the men and fathers of our generation? I will. And in the time to come, I will share their stories with the world. You will read of broken men and their stories of pain and suffering and regret. Please don’t look away. Please don’t turn away from lives that have been destroyed because of a “choice”. Because if you do, if you dare to look the other way, you will not only miss the destruction of men, but you will also miss the hope of healing that rises from the ashes. From great depths we have fallen. But to greater heights will we rise. Thomas White Vice President Pro Life Man

63 views